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The Thing About Insecurities

Hey, Deespeakable fam! How have y’all been? So I went over to a friend’s house during the Sallah break, after gisting, laughing, and making noise we were supposed to go to church for evening service from her house.

In the process of dressing up, she insisted on drawing her eyebrows by fire by force lol. I even tried telling her not to because it is an evening thing and nobody really cares.

I thought I was convincing enough until she came out with her makeup kit and drew just her eyebrows then she was good to go.

Now here is the thing, she has always talked about how her insecurities are her eyebrows.

She has very scanty eyebrows so she is always so conscious of it, and to avoid people making jokes or being like “ah, why are your brows like this?’ she tries to always draw them, that is her own way of dealing with it.

It hit me, guys, somehow we all have our insecurities most times it is emotional; past relationships, or childhood background. Other times it is physical appearances and the truth is both go a long way in tampering with our self-confidence and esteem.

There are days where I will get dressed and literally feel like a carrot. Lol so I am busty and even tho I have some behind I really always wished it was the same proportion as my bust.

So I have to be careful in picking what I will wear. I still can not boldly rock some fitted gowns and other things. Though a friend tells me that work out routines can really help, I am already so conscious of it.

I went further to ask some people the Insecurities they have about their bodies and trust me, some sounded crazy and funny! Ranging from lack of facial hair too small busts, bow legs to nose shapes and sizes, from tummy fat to being naturally big and feeling shapeless, from not feeling pretty enough to having scars and pimples, from having a rough skin to losing the physique that they currently have and so on.

Now here is the thing, though insecurities seem to be normal, they grow into low self-esteem if they are not being handled or taken care of.

I also have a very good friend who is very picky about girls, he will be like “oh, this one no too fine like that…na fair she fair” and at some point, I got super irritated and I will always ask him why he feels he has the right to call someone ugly or beautiful.

Guess what? Lol, while I was asking people about their insecurities I asked him as well.

Turns he feels like he is not good looking, so his constant remarks and being picky about girls was not about the girls, it was his need to find a girl to compliment the fact that he feels he is not good looking, so obviously he would not want a girl who he sees as not physically attractive.
Insecurities also result in wrong decisions, uncertainties, and anxieties about oneself especially if the feeling continues on a daily bases over a period of time.

Now the question is how do you handle your insecurities without having to hide them?

It is okay to go with the general saying “you are beautiful just the way you are”, but what happens on the days where that saying does not even mean anything to you, where you feel you can not fit into a dress or when you do not have the time to put on the makeup that covers your scars or pimples?

For me, I try to wear what seems to be appropriate for my body size and I want to work out more.

Most importantly, since this feeling starts right from your thoughts before you start looking at your body and finding all the wrong things… I use words of affirmation, I appreciate myself and tell myself all the good stuff. It may seem untrue and unrealistic at first, but over time it sinks in.

How do you handle your insecurities?

Please feel free to share yours in the comment section, subsequently, we will be talking about other forms of insecurities.

Stay Blessed Fam!

What do you think?

Written by Desewa Martins

Writer. Blogger. Child of God. Foodie. A lover of everything beautiful who is driven by the passion to tell the stories and journey of the human lives through personal experiences.

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