Hi Fam! How are we all doing today? I hope we are staying safe o! It is really important at this period of time to be safe.
Funny thing is that I actually thought that staying at home will bring about some sort of creative block to me…hmmm…but it is a lie o lol! There is so much to write about even when you are mandated to stay indoors for two weeks, especially when it is with your family.
I have also decided to put every single post created during this period into a category I titled the “Social Distancing Chronicles” so the gist flows from the top to the end.
So, let us talk about family bonding and fights, those two things are inevitable during this period, while you spend time bonding with your family and staying safe, you also end up getting on each other’s toes. guess the worse part though? you can not run away! There is a Coronavirus outside, you have got to stay in and face it lol.
Yesterday, my mum took the liberty of making breakfast for us at home and thought, like a good child who understands and appreciates the efforts of a mother, let me fix lunch and dinner without her having to step into the kitchen (which is almost impossible).
Dinner time! So I am in the kitchen, feeling like the chef who has a degree in making beans porridge then suddenly, I realize that there is no palm oil to put into the beans. I go to my mother’s room to ask her where she kept the new bottle of the palm oil we recently got, she said she would bring it to me. I went back into the kitchen to continue my glorious cooking.
Next thing I know Iya Ade enters the kitchen to start interrogating me o! Ah! “Are you sure these beans are done sef?” “How many Maggi did you use o?” “You know its 3 and a half cup of beans abi?” Heiiiiii….na wa o! in my mind, I am like “Iya wetin day occur? wetin dey coronate?!” I tried to let it go by asking her to please hand me the oil because I honestly did not have the strength or energy to talk or get upset. But no, she wanted to go on with the investigation and I just flared up and lashed out at her.
See me forming Miss independent; “Mumsy,” I said, “are you seriously going ask me what and what I am putting inside 3 and a half cup of beans?” “Haven’t I been doing most of the cooking this period?” “Is this my first time cooking in this house?” “Are you going to be monitoring my cooking at my age?” She was shocked at where the anger came from that she said sorry and walked away.
Later on, she came to me with my frowned face saying “I am sorry nau…are you still upset?” I mean, I did feel bad for raising my voice and we eventually apologized to each other and did all the mushy stuff.
The good thing though, is that the incident actually gave room for a conversation my brothers and I have been meaning to have with my mum.
Anyone who knows my mum would know that she is a hard worker who does not know when to stop or relax or take a break.
She will literally hire laborers to work on the farm but end up following them bumper to bumper, ridge by ridge, under the sun till the work is all done.
it makes you wonder…so why did you hire them in the first place? Or how she comes to the living room every night to lock the door and window before going to bed? She can not seem to ask you to do something and trust that you will get it done. Stuff like this can be so annoying! Especially in a house where the youngest is about 25 years old and are all capable and responsible enough to live together or independently!
Conversing with her just brought about the realization of the fact that from a very young age in a polygamous home, she has indeed always had to do a lot of things on her own, she had to be a girl and boy, she had to be the father and mother to not just me and my siblings, but to my cousins, her younger brother and basically everyone else; providing, working, sacrificing, making decisions, looking for others, etc.
While we were away in school and she was alone at home, she had to be everything to herself and do everything on her own. Having us around, grown or not does take some form of adjustment from her.
It just makes me sad guys, the realization of how most of our parents were raised. Especially with that mindset that they have to do everything by themselves as an act of showing that you are responsible, having to put up the brave face and not show any sign of weakness, the mindset that letting people support or help is a sign of weakness. it is wrong! it should not have to be that way now, not at all.
Even though there is only so much we can do now, it is our duty to help them even when they say they can everything is fine and they can handle it.
We all; young or old, male or female, we need help in certain areas of our lives, no man is an island, letting people help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength and I hope our parents learn that as well.
So here is a shout out to my beautiful, hardworking, sensitive and loving mother, we are always here to help Momma….. love you!
How is family bonding during this isolation/social distancing going for you? Any fights yet? lol.
Do share with me in the comment section below.