Hey fam! Happy new week and welcome to real talks with Deespeakble. This is the segment where I ask questions and everyone gets to drop their opinion and we all get to learn from each other.
This segment might come in parts, sometimes depending on the amount of replies we get or opinions shared. So…….let us get to today’s business. Last week I asked a question pertaining to why most relationships fail and I gave to instances:
- A situation where we as individuals have not taken time to understand and love ourselves before trying to love others.
- A situation where we do not take time to understand what phase of the other person is in (whether they are ready for an exclusive and committed relationship, their view on life and reasoning).
Well! We got lots of feedbacks and I got to realise that they are numerous reasons why relationships do not work out. Most of the time, it goes beyond these reasons stated above. Let us check out the opinions we got.
- Gideon says “I think it has to do with loving yourself first, a lot of people carry lots of baggage into relationships…so the slightest of things get to them. Things like oh, you didn’t like my photo on Instagram and stuffs like that. Another thing that baffles me is how someone who is broken and just got out of a relationship enters another relationship almost immediately…probably because they are looking for a relationship to fill a hole in their hearts whereas it can only be done by the owner of the heart..”
- Claire says “I think different relationships fail as a result of different factors and since we don’t all get the same training, doing the right thing to me might be the wrong way to go about the right thing…..So there’s the individual factor, the person’s upbringing, the kind of home he/she grew up in and probably the combination of not understanding each other. I feel loving yourself plays a minimal role in all this.”
- Segun says “from experience and lessons learnt, I would say understanding is a reason to an extent…..because they are both single people before they met each other, relationship is about two single people building. Like they are still single, but with the little acquaintance, getting to know each other, caring for each other, understanding each other and so on. They decide to commit to each other having agreed to love who the other person is, their differences and every other thing. They do all that mutually…note…mutually.”
- Abbey says “maybe it is because we worry too much about the things that are not working that we miss the best part that is working…”
- Akram says “there can really not be one reason why myriad of relationships don’t work, it varies from relationship to relationship. I think the second instance is usually the reason most of them end. The idea of being with a person can only work with tolerance…a lot of tolerance.”
- Saviour says “I personally thing in this generation, we fake everything. We fake friendships, catching feelings, even zing….once you consent to a relationship, it becomes by default a roller coaster. I don’t think we ever as humans come to fully understand another human because we are complex vacillate hence breakups”
- Abang says “I feel like these days, most people are in a relationship to satisfty a particular urge. It could be sex, money sometimes social status and when they discover they aren’t getting what they want…they move on.”
- Dammy says “relationships don’t work for one reason. Someone has stopped trying. i.e someone has stopped loving ‘in spite of.’ I’ve noticed people fall in love and say I like her or him cos he’s tall, she’s beautiful. He’s understanding etc sha, but that’s never enough. The real reason we should fall in love should be ‘inspite of’ meaning I love for instance XXX inspite of her nagging, in spite of her foodie nature etc. we need to fully know the person we are going into relationships with and say yes I love this person’s good qualities but what about the bad, can I live with them? After this then you say I love her in spite of so so and so. There’re two things that are constant; change and death. Our partners and ourselves would always change.”
Alright fam these are the opinions that I can share with us for now……what do you think? Are some of these eye openers? Angles you have never looked from before? Well….we have other exciting opinions to share in the next part. Feel free to drop yours in the comment section, thank you for stopping by and enjoy the rest of your day! Bless up!