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Overcoming low self esteem

Growing up, i dont think anyone has talked me down the way i have talked myself down. I mean, i used to be a very angry kid, I was mad at so many things, my parents got separated quite early and i also wished i had alot of things as well. To crown it up, i battled with some serious low self esteem issues.

It was so bad that i could barely make friends, i pushed those who tried to be friends with me away. I literally compare myself and my life to anyone who walks into the room.

“Do i look ok ?” was my regular question. Even if the dress or make up was on point i would still find something wrong with it. Whenever i find myself in the mist of people i wouldn’t even be able to associate with people or express myself. There was always this voice saying “what do you know and who exactly are you?” I mean at that point i got used to really asking myself “wait… who are you really ? ”

When it got to the age of dating, i would be so grateful to any cutie who wants to date me…..treat me right or not…i mean i was grateful he was dating me, atleast i had the title of ‘girlfriend’…and obviously those relationships weren’t so great.

From the questions I asked and the few responses I got, I discovered that low self esteem can be caused by a lot of things such as physical appearances, intellect and situations such as the environment and the things surrounding one’s upbringing  that eventually end up affecting one psychologically, while some  get over it quickly, others don’t and it ends up becoming a part of their lives.

I have come to understand that overcoming low self esteem is a gradual process, It doesn’t just happen all at once. So I’ve decided to drop a few tips to help in gradually overcoming this issue! Yay!

First of all, come to an understanding that you are uniquely created and you have  potential, so you should never compare your life or yourself to anyone else. We all have our own journies and purpose of creation. So  regardless of how you feel or where you find yourself,  BE YOU! Focus so much on being the best that you can be.

Knowing that you are beautiful or handsome isn’t good enough, but understanding that you are good enough without approval, permission or validation from anyone is key. Also, understanding that regardless of where you are coming from you or the situations surrounding your life, it does not define you, you never have to let that define who you are or limit the way you think or see yourself.

Associating yourself with the right people is also a very important factor for overcoming low self esteem, yes! I strongly advise against ‘naysayers’. Stay away from people who absolutely do not help you grow mentally, people who don’t have anything positive to say or do. Self esteem is built with right mindset. Reading books and watching motivational videos that has to do building self esteem also helps tremendously.

Lastly, don’t die in silence please. Whenever you find yourself feeling that way, try talking to someone about it. You never know, you might just get the motivation you need! I really hope this helps someone.

Compliments of the season!

What do you think?

Written by Desewa Martins

Writer. Blogger. Child of God. Foodie. A lover of everything beautiful who is driven by the passion to tell the stories and journey of the human lives through personal experiences.

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  1. Thanks dear. Low self esteem is really something I think everyone goes through at some point in life and the ability to get over it quickly helps us get the better part of life. Thank you dear for this lovely piece.

  2. Muchas Gracias for this insight

    Self esteem problem is actually faced by majority and it’s built or crush in childhood, vanity is also a contributing factor and many disguise it under pride or anger.

    I think it can be corrected by identifying what is destroying one’s self esteem and work on it (Communicate, relate, associate, interact and believing in oneself ).

  3. You make a great point about associating with the right people. It’s easy to get lost in what others say, having strong people to build you up is an essential part of having good self-esteem- especially for those who are young and more easily impressionable. I’m genuinely looking forward to hearing more from you!

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