I officially welcome you to the third quarter of 2019! Phewwwwww! Indeed God is super faithful and good, do you ever get that feeling where it is like the year is running out and you still have not achieved half of your to-do list? Well, you are not alone, I am your sister in ‘unticked to do list’ if there is any word like that sef lol.
The second quarter for me was filled with lots of things to be grateful for and lots of lessons that I think I learnt the hard way, though I was shy and a little ashamed to share it at first, I feel like I am in a better position to do that now.
So yea, earlier this year I rounded up my compulsory National Youth Service program and my initial intention was to go back to learning a skill or go for an internship that will help boost my resume and CV.
Somehow I got a job offer through a friend and after making inquiries about the job, I realized that it is a place where I can learn and garner experience as well as get a little change.
So I took it, along the line I started discovering some funny traits in my boss, at first I thought it was just about me sitting up, doing my job early so she doesn’t have to ask but as time went on, I realised it was superiority complex accompanied with other issues.
The need to always oppress those under you, make them feel like without you or without the job they are nothing, I was threatened with being fired and my pay being slashed almost every other day. I actually made enquiries and discovered that this was the same reason why the last person that worked for her left, but the fear of not having a job and having to ask others for money didn’t let me quit.
I kept pushing, soon I became depressed I was not talking to the people I was supposed to talk because I felt everyone was busy, the pressure started setting in, I will always be uncomfortable and scared at work, I will come back from work angry because while I was at work, she had said something that will hurt my feelings and my self-esteem. I was so unhappy at work but I was scared to leave.
I thought I had the worst feeling until a childhood friend of mine, someone who was more like a younger sister to me and neighbour for more than ten years passed on in school during this period, the same period I lost my dad seven years ago, it literally broke my heart, I cried so much it was like everything kept getting worse.
I was angry at everything guys! I just broke and I took out my anger on someone I really care so much about and apologies was able to fix it, so the friendship and whatever could have been was ruined in the process.
This past quarter also, I watched a dear friend go through the pain of losing his dad and it was quite a feeling.
Last month there were nights and days of soaking the pillow with tears, days of waking up depressed and sad, days of crying without knowing the exact cause. It seems like it would never get better but thank God!
I am happy to announce to you that I summoned the courage to walk away from the job and I have truly realized that nothing is worth your peace of mind and sanity, no job or Pay is worth hampering your joy and self-esteem.
I have also come to realise the importance of appreciating and savouring the moments we share with those we love because we never know whether or not we will get to see them again.
Most importantly, I have learnt to trust my gut. The thing that directs you to a particular direction, sometimes it does not make sense at first, but you do not want to do something else and then regret why you did not go with what came to mind in the first place.
I have been praying through it all, forgiving myself for mistakes, working and putting towards controlling my emotions and trusting God to help handle anxiety and pressures and I know I will be alright.
So for this new quarter, I am going back to my notepad and I am picking up where I left off, starting from today I am applying for internship positions at Television stations and radio stations. It has always been my first love. I am actually on my way to one as I am typing this lol. Taking it one the day at a time with God’s help.
How did you last quarter go? Any mistakes, lessons or this you wish you would have done? How are you planning to take advantage of this new quarter that you are privileged to be a part of?
Your Foodie sister,