Hi guys! In this post of mine, I am here to make an attempt to save the idea of being ‘The Bigger Person’. I have come to realise that the concept of being the bigger person has been misconstrued, and in one way or the other we might have been guilty of this.
Most times when misunderstandings occur between people, I often hear things like ‘ oh! Let me be the bigger person and call him/her back’, ‘ I’ll talk to them first, so that they realize I’m the bigger person or I’m a better person than they are’. Wow…. Really?
Anyways, I decided to google ‘The bigger person’ to fully understand what it means and I came across this great post titled “What does it mean to be the bigger person?” By T.K Coleman an Education Director and honestly, it completely blew my mind!
In T.K Coleman’s words;
– Being the bigger person has nothing to do with being a self-righteous prig who goes around feeling superior to those who behave differently.
– Being the bigger person has nothing to do with seeing other people including those who may annoy us as ‘small’.
– Being the bigger person is not the art of suppressing our feelings sticking our chest out with pride because of our ability to do an immecable Dr Spock impression.
– Being the bigger person is being bigger than the limiting actions and beliefs that hold us back from being faithful to the truth of who we are.
The paragraphs I love so much from this post was where He wrote “Being the bigger person is about seeing ourselves as people who are better than the challenges we face, broader than the habits we have, and bigger than the resistance that stands between us and our limitless possibilities” and “Being the bigger person is not about what someone else isn’t”.
I am so glad I came across this post cos it really broaden my mind, it gave me some serious insight on what being the bigger person truly means. I’ve found myself guilty of trying to act like the bigger person sometimes, especially when I’m not at fault or I’m deeply hurt.
The misconstrued concept of being ‘The Bigger Person ‘ has ruined lots of friendships and relationships. I’ve come to realize that being the bigger person has absolutely nothing to do with self appraisal, it has nothing to do with pointing out people’s shortcomings because we ourselves are not perfect. You’re not entitled to call yourself the bigger person in any given situation, because you are not better than the other person.
Being the bigger person has everything to do with letting down your pride and ego, understanding that no one is perfect, understanding the value of your friendship or relationship with the people in you life and taking steps towards making things right even though you’ve been hurt, you weren’t at fault or you weren’t treated right.
You are the bigger person when you take sometime to calm down, look past the anger, the disappointment, accusations. Letting go of your ego, pride, pettiness, putting the blame game aside, not letting the situation or argument win you over and doing what you know deep down in your heart is right, that is; TAKING STEPS TOWARDS MAKING THINGS RIGHT! Which I started earlier.
The trust is, its not easy to be the bigger person, but its a step towards being a better person. I really hope this helps someone today, see you next month!