Hey my amazing Deespeakable Fam, it has been a minute. How are you all doing? How are you coping with social distancing and lockdown? Really, are you good? Are you nervous? Tired? Frustrated? Or calm?
I really miss being here. A lot has just been happening personally and around the world as well, the Coronavirus Pandemic has indeed taken a turn on countries around the world.
Everyone is just trying to stay safe due to the widespread of the virus.The fact that there is no available cure for the virus is quite something.
Like my friend Marilyn rightly said, “Everything has been brought to a halt”; routines, work, and movements have stopped for now I know that most people are freaking out.
The fear and panic caused by the virus amongst people are bigger than the virus itself.
It has been crazy and sad to listen to the news these days and hear that the numbers of those infected keep increasing.
On the other hand, it has brought us to certain realizations. Some of which are; the things we never thought possible are actually possible in certain circumstances, the things we hold tightly to our chest and think we cannot do without, we can actually do without them.
Amidst the hustle, the working, the money making and paper chasing, none of it really matters or compares to being healthy, being alive and the beauty of humanity as a whole.
For me, my social distancing started about a week ago, though the government officially ordered us to stay home and prevent the spread of the Covid-19 over the weekend, my boss had instructed us to start working from home since last week.
This period has brought about a lot of self-realization for me. The feeling is more like those days where you come back from work after a hectic day and you lay on the bed and reflect on how your day went from waking up, taking a shower, dressing, heading out, sitting in the taxi, getting to work, every single conversation that you had with your colleagues, all the way down to how you left work and now laying on your bed. You get that feeling right? That’s how reflections are.
Staying home, having the time you never had because of all the activity , does give you time to think and evaluate yourself. Are self evaluations good or necessary? Yes oh! They are!
They are very important and necessary. Living your life, running round circles is no way to live.
So what have I been thinking about?
Well, I have been thinking about how I somehow let myself drift from who I really am, things I really want to do in some areas of my life because somehow I do not know how I deceived myself into believing that validations from people matter.
I have been thinking about what I really want to make out of my life, the kind of relationships I want to have, with my God, with my family (I rarely speak to my step-siblings), my friends and loved ones. I have been thinking about growth and planning; somehow I let myself believe that planning big and dreaming big is a tall glass of “pride” with a little sprinkle of “doing the most”. I know you are probably like “why would you even think that way?”
I know, calm down, I wonder why I think that way as well. Should I get started on how I would rather focus on eating the small chops and jollof at parties than try to have conversations with new people because I am socially awkward? How I barely take pictures or make videos because I think it can be overly dramatic?
Oh, I just remembered! I have been thinking about intentionality, discipline, and commitment. I know I came off with the big “BE INTENTIONAL” banner at the beginning of the year but guys…it has not been easy!
A week and a few days has brought me to the realization that Adesewa is definitely not a disciplined person, she procrastinates, she does not plan, she was to do everything and strike out every task all at once, then she gets overwhelmed and tired trying to figure it out.
When she realizes that she cannot handle it, she walks to the fridge like a queen that she is and helps herself to a chilled bottle of zobo and a pack of Minimie chin-chin because at the end of the day, she cannot come and kill herself. Then the day ends with that feeling of unfulfilment.
Lol! Do not get me wrong fam…hold on! We need to be truthful, not just to others but we have got to start from ourselves. This is not to criticize myself, but it is a means of reminding myself and you, my paddy that some things in our lives need to be worked on for our own benefits.
So about all these things, I know your next question is “what do you want to do now? How do you intend to fix this?”
Answer is, I really have not figured that out completely, but I am taking it one day at a time. I have gotten a sample of a daily routine planner that actually works, I am working on maximizing time effectively.. for instance, I had to take time off surfing the net to write this post, I have brought out my journal that has been hidden somewhere for God knows how long lol! I back to the books I abandoned (do not judge me lol), and reading them few chapters at a time… slow and steady.
I finally started up the podcast session of Deespeakable as well! Baby steps yea? Lol I will drop the link to listen at the end of this post.
Most importantly, I trust God to help me see myself the way He see me; potentials, gifts, heights and all. I also trust Him to help me value and cherish every day, as well as make the best use of it.
So tell me, what has been happening to you during this isolation/social distancing period? What are you learning about yourself? What are you discovering? How are you taking advantage of this period?
Feel free to share your thought in the comment section below. If you also have ideas on how I can set goals, plan and improve, please feel free to share them as well.
I look forward to hearing from you, thank you for stopping by to read!
Here is the link to the podcast: